Monday, July 8, 2013

Sometimes U have to BE RADIO Silence

Thoughts: The   devil  comes in  any forms and  fashion.   even  in  ur   friends when  u  didnt  even  see  it   coming.  I  have  to  admit  i am not  the   perfect  person .   But  i know   who  and  what  i am  .  and  the  person  that  i am   trying  to  become.  and   No  one  will  stand  in my  way   unless  god  has  a  different   plan  for me.   He   didnt  get  me  here   to  let  me   fall .   and  I  understand  that   now.  I  thought  i  was  alone  in this  and that  i wouldnt  be  able  to   get  anything   done.   I  lost  the  most  important   part   of  me to   regain  the   best   side   of  me.  It was  my  first and  its  my  last.  
  On a  upper  note  I  linked  up with  is   young  lady  and   she  is  fucking   great.   she  gave  me   ideals  to  impovement  of  my  blog.   Not  all  new  yorks  are   bad  ppl  and   i see  that  also .   So me  and  her   will  be  working on  my  blog   .   and   it  will  have  new  things  and  more  interesting  .   My  weight  lost  is   one .  and  i  hope  it  helps   alot  of  ppl  and   can  help ppl  though  the dark  times .  cause  I know its  a  struggle  with  ur  life  as  a whole.   and  I  can  feel  it  more  then anyone.  
  So  I  will  be  posting  tips  and   my  progress  with  before  and  after  pictures, AND   also   My  fashion  part  is  coming.   life in  nyc   is   so  different   but  i think  its  a  beautiful  thing  that  i  have  all  these   changes  ahead  of  me  and   i got  so much  going  for  me...   and   its  all  because  of  my  life   line..   and  that s   My  daughter  everyday ,   she  tells  me  I hate  that  ur  away   but  i know  its  for  the betterment  of  me.  that alone  keeps  me  going,

 Keep  ur   dreams in  mind  and  makem   reality
   HUGGS and  kisses

Monday, June 24, 2013

True Colors

Thoughts:  I  could   say alot  and   have  so  much  to  tell  but  I  wouldnt  be  able to  explain.   Its   funny   how  the   tables  turn .   But  the  turn   for  the  betterment  of  someone.
 Even  when u  feel  like  u  got  the  whole  world  against  u  and   no one  is on  ur  side  But  self.
This pass  week has  been  the test for  me.   God  is   truly  working on  me  and   the   devil  is   hitting the  last  nerve in my  body  cell.   And  thats  no  lie.
  But   I  aint  got  NO WORRIES.  at  all  cause  things  happen  for  a reason.   Ppl   are  taken out ur  life  for  a  bigger   plan .
  My bestie  told  me  I  was   ful of  joy ...  and  up  to the  moment  she  said  it  I  didnt  even   realize  it.  How  much  life   i  had in me.   Because  I  let   a  virtual   game   and   the  thoughts   of  others.  Change me   to  the  point  I didnt   even   realize  who   or  what  I  was  anymore.  
 So  gettting  to  know  me  all over  and  loving  on me  all over  again  is  a  beautiful  thing.  
 Ur  struggles   make u   stronger.
Ur  lost  makes   u  realize   whats  suppose  to  be  there  and  whats  not.
Ur  tears  become   tears  of  victory
Ur  Haters   became   ur  stairway to  every  dream.

And   I   laugh   at  the   fact  that  alot  of  ppl  thought  I  was  going  to  fail  and   go  home   .  But  I  got  news   for u  ppl .   Ummmmm nope  dont  think  so .   I am  going  to   ride  this   out  until   God  make  other  plans.  I  didnt   come  this   far   for   failure.  Disappointment. or  lack  of  ..   etc..   Soooooo

Someone   asked  me  about  my  love   life.  and  I know   who  it  is  they   just   really  wanna   be  nosey.  and   report    and  tell   who  ever  willing  to  listen ...   But  here  is  my answer.  I am   doing  me  and   doing  a  good  job at  it.   And  I am   happy   being   single   and  more  at  rest ....  Kisses



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFQA78XTKj8

Friday, June 14, 2013

Out of No WHERE!!!!


So today i  was on  my  way  to   find  Bk.  This dude  got on the  train  and  set  right  in   front  of  me .  So  i  had  no  choice  but  to  look at  him . The dude  looked  right though  me . like  i  felt  as  if  he  was  looking  for  something.  But it  was  something  about   his  eyes  that  made  me  not make  my   normal  face   when  men  look at  me.   lol All  he  said  was  " Your going  to  be  okay .   and  Ur  time  is   coming   just   wait.  Its  coming " and  smiled  and  got  off  at the  next  stop.   all  i  could  do  was   smile  and   cry  cause  i  knew  who  is  was  and  why  he  was  there.   My  thoughts  about  me  were   starting  to   be   more  then  my  soul  could  deal with .  And  that  is  so  not  me.  
 As  the  days   go  by   it   gets  better.   When  i  think about   what   life  has   brought  me . The   lessons  I  have  learned.   The    friends  at  has   came  and  gone.   The  people   who   thought   i  couldnt  do  it.  And  the  ones   who   has  stood   right  beside  me   though it  each  day .   I am  blessed and  my  happiness  is  coming.   I know   it   and  when  it do   its  going  to  be  Sings  Golden in  my Jill  Scott  voice.   Lol  
     Everything   happens   for  a  reason .   Things   fall  apart  so  great things  can   come  together.  I  get  it   now No  lie  i  got  ALOT  of  work  to  do on  self.  I am  not  going  to  lie  I am  not  perfect  .  Honesty  i am  full  of  flaws and  some  other  things  that  has  no words.  My  faith in  myself  was  broken ,  i  question  my  self   because  of  others   thoughts  of  me  .  Which  is  really  not  the  way  to  be   But   it  is  what  it  is.  But the  lack of  self  love  is  the  worst. And  i am  really  working  on  it.
  My   friend  made  me   get on   cam   just  to  talk to her  because  of  the things  or  so  more  the words  of  others  that get  under my  skin.  Which is  more  then  cool   cause   its  like  ass  holes  everyone  has  one. So  i  should   have  let  the  shit  go  but  i allowed  it   to  hurt  me.  Hurt  is  like  sex. Its one  person  to  allow  the  other  person  to   touch  them..So  u  can  only  get  hurt  by  the  ones  u  allow  to  hurt  u.  
  The  people  who  have   stood   right   here  with  me   though  this   .  I  thank u   alot   even   if   u   don't  think  i  do   . Thanks  alot  cause  with  out   alot  of  ya ll  i  wouldn't   have  made it  this  far  .
To  the  people  who  thought  i  glistened  do  it .  and   feed  me  the  negative  about  my  want  and   needs   for  this.   Thank u   too.  cause  u  don't  know  what   u  have   done   for  me.  all  smiles  promise.  Cause  i am   really  blessed .  
   I am   going  to  go  though  alot  of  changes.  and  the  ones  i am   going  though   now  just   being me.   I   hit  my  low  point  all ready   there is  nothing  someone  can  say  to   break  me  down  .cause  i  already  been  there.
#MOVINGFORWARD
 lOVE  ASHLEY
 Learn  to  love  self  .  cause  no one  is  going  to  love u   like   self  and   god.   Nothing  should  break u  only  make  u  a  better  person .  More  beautiful  then   ever.

Thursday, June 13, 2013


Today  is  the  day  i choose to tell the world and  share  my  Story. If
Ur  going to judge i  advice u  not  to  comment  .  Please and thank .

My Struggle with  NYC  and   self  .  Is  like  a  emotionally  roller coaster  that i  wanna  jump  off in  mid  air. As the  days  go  by it  becomes  more  real  to me  with  each  moment.  Almost  to the  point  its  to  much  to  handle. I  expected  this  and  I  wanted  that but  things just  go  as  they  seem .  But  at the  end  of  my  day its  my  bed  i made it . And  Now  i have  to  rest in  it , The  moment  i  got  off that  bus  i  was  over  the  word excited.  Cause  at  that  point  i  knew i  was only  living  for  me  and  my  daughter.  No  more  questions  to  self" Who  am I  living For".As  if  I am  Rhianna and  wale  on  repeat. But  then  its  the  other  side  of  me  saying.  Its Surreal . I cant  cope.  I  cant  think.  this  ain't me.  Maybe  it  was  to much  from  the  start.  But  I  was  always  that  kid  that  wanted  more  of  the  world  and   what it   had  to  offer.  Other then   the  south  and  what  it  lacked  in  offering.  Thinking  this  might  really  be  to  much.   But  I  had  my  reasons  My  dreams   My  faith  and something  else.

          You  didn't  see  my   dream  when i  was  dreaming. So  who  are u  to  say  its  impossible?


Things    have   changed  to  a  point  I am  like  is  it   for  my   own  good?
Or  the  betterment  of  me as  a woman? Or  even   a  lesson  that  i  needed  to  learn.  That u cant  love  someone  more  then  u  love  Ur  self.
Its  Crazy .